(no subject)

[stillbourne]

an interesting point I had not considered:

Help me grasp a detailed definition of these:

self-centered
vs.
self-preservation

I'll explain in a few hours, but I need help defining these.
GIVE DETAILS and EXAMPLES of your definitions of these.
Generalities wont help.

thanks.

Comments

[twilightstar.livejournal.com]

Self-centered: Everything is all about you. You don't care about anyone's feelings except your own. Someone tells you about something going on in their own life, and all you can do is think of how it affects you. You lack consideration of how the things you do affect other people. If you feel bad, then you make everyone else feel bad, because it's all about you.

Self-preservation: If you were in a toxic friendship (too much drama, the person is self-centered, inconsiderate, wastes all your time, etc.), and had to get out of it because it was constantly bringing you down, that would be self-preservation. If you were to avoid a situation you know would be harmful to you physically/mentally/emotionally, that would be self-preservation.

Hope that helps a bit, and that it wasn't too general.

[stillbourne.livejournal.com]

where do you draw the lines?

When does the 'this isnt good for *me*' become 'all about me'?

in a way it is.
in a way its not.

how much do you allow another slack due to their human nature?
Likewise, how much slack to you expect others to give you?

I understand it will vary with the persons involved, but ...

[twilightstar.livejournal.com]

If the situation is in any way harmful to you (physically/mentally/emotionally), you have the right to preserve yourself from it. This is not being self-centered, in my book. If you still care about how the other party involved feels, but just can't involve yourself in the situation any longer, this is perfectly okay.

However, when you get to the point where you no longer care about how what you do affects others, that is when you become self centered. It can be a very fuzzy line, really, and a lot of it has to do with perceptions.

If you had a particular situation that was toxic to you, and you feel bad about having to remove it from your life because of others' feelings, you could sit down with that person and explain why you can't be involved in the situation any more (diplomatically, of course), and hope that they would understand. That way, you are still being considerate of their feelings (by at least giving them an explanation of why you are distancing yourself).

Does that make sense?

What first comes to mind...

[leenerella]

The big definition in my head is Self-Centered vs. Selfish. Everyone IS self-centered (or those who aren't have something seriously wrong with them.)

Every person is the hub of a wheel that expands out into infinite directions, and everything revolves around that hub. Hubs connect to other hubs, but no other hubs are as important to the others as their own.

Selfish is not taking responsibilities or consequences into account when acting on behalf of that hub.

Self-preservation includes denying access from another hub for the sake of your own hub in order to maintain the hub's physical and mental well-being. Self-preservation can be done in a responsible, accountable manner, even if it denies another hub what it wants or needs.